


A Peculiar Way to Win A Game

by Lightheaded_Dullahan



Series: An Odd Little Plan [2]
Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2019-09-06 08:32:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightheaded_Dullahan/pseuds/Lightheaded_Dullahan
Summary: [Reworked as of June 19th]Aka: A Bizarre Plan to Capture a Heart Part 2“Well students, it seems to be graduation. While it certainly has been enjoyable- for me anyway, our time has sadly come to an end,” Merlin pulled out a party hat and popped a party popper with a large smile on his face, “So I’ve decided to lock us all in the room to celebrate until someone reports you missing!”





	1. Two Years

**Author's Note:**

> Merlin's fun to write.

“Well students, it seems to be graduation. While it certainly has been enjoyable- for me anyway, our time has sadly come to an end,” Merlin pulled out a party hat and popped a party popper with a large smile on his face, “So I’ve decided to lock us all in the room to celebrate until someone reports you missing!”

“Haha, funny joke Mr. Merlin-” Shirou found the doorknob stuck as he tried to turn it. After struggling to move it even an inch, he looked back at the smirking teacher. He saw Merlin drop a key attached to a chain into his shirt, leaning over his desk with the smuggest cat grin possible for a human to obtain. 

It dawned on everyone that they were in fact locked in the room with the madman. 

“Artoria!” The student just shook her head. 

“Bedivere!” He looked down sadly. 

“Mash!” Mash readjusted her glasses, avoiding the gaze of her classmates.

“Arjuna!” 

Arjuna was at the only window in the classroom searching for a way out. Merlin started up his microwave as he waited for his students- soon former students, to fall into hysterics. Arjuna, however, had found a way out. The teacher watched as the 18-year-old kicked out the fake glass panes and climb out. His eye widened as he realized something. The glass hadn’t been replaced at all. That fake glass had been there for three years and he had just found out. He pulled out another party popper and popped it as the stunned class stood awkwardly in the classroom still. The students filtered out until it was only Shirou and Artoria still in the classroom.

“Artoria? Are you coming?”

“I’m the designated driver. I can’t. Please keep a bowl warm for me when I come over.”

The redhead looked between them with a raised eyebrow before climbing out the window himself after Artoria refused a second time. The teacher pulled out the food from the microwave and walked over to the student. He placed the bowl of popcorn in front of her as he pulled out two bottles from his coat. Artoria opened her bottle. She jerked back at the smell that resonated strongly from the bottle. 

“Oh wait that’s mine.”

“We are NOT having a repeat of the Nevada vacation!”

“Not so loud you fool! The principal still doesn’t know!”  
-  
-  
-  
“Hey Arjuna, what are you going to do now that you’re legally an adult?”

Medb, who had already begun her plan for her adult life three years ago like some kind of time traveling overachiever, leaned over in her seat as the final people were being called up to receive their diploma. Cu had graduated two years prior and Medb had yet to locate his newest residence. How on earth he managed to keep himself hidden for three months was a mystery to her. Arjuna hummed as he looked over to his family and saw a certain couple sitting together. 

“Let’s just say I have quite the life planned.”

“Let me know when the wedding is then, I’ll need a week’s preparation.”

“...For what?”

Medb shrugged, commenting on how she needed the time to make sure she got what she needed. The principal finished up and the students had begun to leave. The two friends parted ways after a final picture together and a plan to meet up again later that week. Kunti gushed to the other parents about her son, as she did at each of their graduations. Nakula and Sahadeva shared a look, theirs would be twice as much gushing as usual. Yudhisthira was proud as well, practically singing as he talked about his genius younger brother. Bhima made a mess of his hair despite Arjuna’s protests for anything else. 

Siegfried offered up his congratulations, something that took a very different meaning with Arjuna. Those two years were finally up. Siegfried was about to be uprooted from his current spot. And there was nothing that could stop Arjuna from winning this round.  
-  
-  
-  
“The dreaded two years are over! Finally!”  
Two years of having to camp outside of Karna’s room to ensure a certain someone or their alternate personality didn’t sneak in. Two years of having to chaperone all of Karna’s dates due to Duryodhana’s insistence. Two years of dealing with a second Karna. Two years of dealing with Arjuna nearly hourly. Those two years were finally over!  
Ashwatthama was having his own celebration when the family returned to the home. His face was more cheerful than it had been in years. The sound of a phone ringing brought everyone’s attention to the conversation of Ashwatthama and the other person on the line, with him taking a few steps away from everyone. His smiling face fell almost immediately.  
“You can’t leave Karna’s house.”  
“Repeat that.”  
“I need you to stay there.”  
“...but why!”  
“Let’s just say I got some interesting mail from a certain personality.”  
The guest of the house took a deep breath and mumbled under his breath.  
“Fuck Black for making me stay here even longer. Fuck Duryodhana for being my friend. Fuck Karna for getting into this mess. Fuck Arjuna for everything he’s done. Fuck this family for being such a stupid, convoluted pile. And fuck that guy in particular.”

“Would you like some milk?”  
“Fuck you, yes.”  
-  
-  
-  
Cu Chulainn, a nearly 21-year-old man, was currently hiding under Archer’s bed. He had been there for the past three weeks, terrified that once Medb graduated she would be after him. It would be all over then. He still had so much to do.

“Here’s your lunch.”

Archer passed the plates and cup to Cu under the bed. He heard a muffled word of thanks and went back downstairs where Shirou was playing video games with Shinji. Both gave a nod of acknowledgment when he put their lunches down in front of them. Shinji waited a moment before turning to Shirou after the round finished. 

“So, when were you going to tell me about your new dog?”

“...Uh, what dog?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Shirou!”

“Don’t knock over your drink! You’ll get it on the controllers!”  
-  
-  
-  
The cow let out a low moo as Merlin petted its head softly. The soft sound of a flute filled the air with a soothing feeling. He lifted up the smoothie to the person on the back of the cow, who gracefully took it without making the flute go sharp. Krishna was grateful for the free drink, he was rather parched at the moment. 

“So how’d you get the cow up 6 floors?”

“Skills,“ Krishna smiled as he took a sip from his drink.

“Do you know who called us here then?”

“Nope! Didn’t even look into it.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow as he pulled out his own smoothie. Buy-one-get-one-free was such a good deal when there wasn’t a catch. Or as he liked to put it, borrow Artoria’s smoothie so he didn’t have to pay for another one. Now, borrow might be a light word to use. Mordred might use ‘steal’ or ‘loot’ or ‘you bastard I was going to take that’. Luckily Artoria hadn’t planned on drinking what she got. She had specifically gotten Merlin’s favorite because she knew he would try to grab at hers. Luckily she had gotten his burger, so it was a fair trade.

“Thank you both for meeting with me.”

The two smoothie-drinking pranksters looked over to the new third person in the room. She looked to be about 20 cm shorter than Merlin with an almost smug grin on her face. Not only that, but she had spun around in a fancy gaming chair that neither of the other two had noticed before. Granted they hadn’t bothered to in the first place.

“My name is Jinako Carigiri, and I would like your help in my plan.”

“And what is your plan?”

“The ultimate otome game, courtesy of my dear friend. I’m sure you’re both familiar with them.”

“And what do we get in return for helping?”

“500 thousand dollars and a gift card to the local smoothie shop on 3rd street.”

“Oh man, just the smoothie shop would have convinced me.”

Jinako stared at Merlin. She looked over at Krishna who was nodding in agreement. She was flabbergasted as she tried to think of a good response.

“Uh, so would you rather just have the gift card?”

“Double it for both of us and we have a deal.”

“...Okay then. Two gift cards for both of you.”

Krishna and Merlin shared a high-five as Jinako crossed out the money part of her offer. She could spend it on something else instead. That new limited collector’s edition version of that game was coming out soon. She didn’t even drink but she sure as hell was getting that limited run shot glass. Typing out a text to a contact in her phone that started with ‘K’, she let them know the plan had started.  
-  
-  
-  
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE PLAN IS OFF!”

Aruna shook his head at Surya and Indra’s shared shocked reaction. He held up the phone where the ‘K’ person had typed out their own plan had started. They couldn’t go through their own without overlapping, which they couldn’t do if they wanted their own plan to win. Surya took a deep breath as he considered what else they could do.

“Such a shame too, I wanted to use the spy legs.”

“No, we can still use it. We just have to get real spy like.”

Aruna and Surya looked over at Indra, who felt a feeling of dread go over him. He shook his head ‘no’ furiously. Those two were not planning what he thought they were. The smile spreading on Surya’s face said the opposite. They were planning that.

“Indra, how would you like to be married again?”

Indra didn’t like it when he wasn’t the mastermind.  
-  
-  
-  
Karna’s phone buzzed as it received another text from Jinako. He would answer it, and he would like to answer it if he wasn’t currently pinned between two people. He just wanted to watch tv and yet now he was being the closest thing to a calming force between Siegfried and Arjuna. Well, mostly it was Arjuna. Siegfried was doing it purely because of Arjuna asking he do so. At least, that’s what he assumed.

The show playing had been what his mother had last watched, which had been an Indian drama. The number of effects used with the introduction of the main antagonist of the season was impressive. It had two glass breaks effects in a span of 2 minutes. Even if it was the cheesiest thing in the world, he could admire the effort put into the cheesiness. 

“Now if you look at this slide, you will see how agreeing to my plan has the best long term outcome.”

“While you have put a valiant effort into this, and I do have to apologize, but I am not agreeing with that plan.”

“Uh, can you two take a break from this? I need to pee.”


	2. He's Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“LOOK UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA: Guess who's back this time

“LOOK UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR!” 

Nefertari and Moses clapped loudly as Ozymandias presented his creation at the competition. The statue of a giant Cosmos Sphinx that reflected the light in the room across its galaxy designed body. Kingu looked up from their phone before returning to it with a bored look on their face. They didn’t want to be here. But Gilgamesh had wanted to come which meant Enkidu wanted to come which meant they had to come too. They’d rather be home and playing a video game on their computer. 

The judges announced the winner was, unsurprisingly, Ozymandias. Compared to the others, one could call him out for cheating due to the sheer difference in skill level. But when this was the 6th year he had completed, people simply assumed he would win just by his skill alone even if the other contestants cheated. There was loud cheering from his girlfriend and brother, not to mention from Gilgamesh. Kingu around the place when he noticed someone he recognized from the parties Gilgamesh had and that he was forced to attend. When the event began to die down and people dispersed, the person made his way over to them. 

“Congratulations on your win. If it had been anyone else beating my brother, I wouldn’t be so merciful.”

“Duryodhana! What a surprise to see you here! Where have you been all this time?”

“Around. I actually have a question for you two.” 

Gilgamesh and Ozymandias leaned over to see what Duryodhana was showing them on his phone. They shared a smile once they finished reading the text from the ‘K’ person. Oh, that was a plan they could get behind.

“Well, I don’t think I have anything planned. Nefertari, Moses, is anything coming up that I’ve forgotten?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Enkidu, do I have anything planned in the near future.”

“Not according to the calendar.”

Gilgamesh and Ozymandias shared a smile with Duryodhana. The game had gotten a new set of challenges. And Kingu missed the combo on the rhyme game because of them.  
-  
-  
-  
“Karna.”  
“Mhm...five more minutes.”  
“Karna.”  
Despite the tone getting harsher, Karna didn’t move. His half dazed brain didn’t register much other than the tv still playing whatever rerun was on. Going back to sleep sounded like a fantastic idea.

“Vasusena, I swear to god, if you do not get off me I will personally castrate you.”

Karna leaned over to the other side of the couch. Ashwatthama was already pissed, and it was in everyone’s best interest that he not get any angrier. Especially in Arjuna’s best favor. Kindergarten left a very sour taste in Ashwatthama’s mouth. After being slept on by Karna for the entire night, there was a very fine line before he would blow a fuse. 

That very fine line was slowly becoming even finer with the look Black had on his face as he walked into the room. There was one person he hated more than Arjuna right now, and it was Black. He would prefer being slept on by Duryodhana’s siblings than deal with him. Thankfully, there was one person who could counter the annoyance right now. 

“Dear, would you mind getting a blanket and pillow from the hall closet?”

Kunti unfolded the blanket and laid it atop Karna, moving his head from her shoulder to the pillow. She walked over to Black and handed him some money. With possibly the sweetest smile possible on a person, she sealed both their fates. 

“Why don’t you and Ashwatthama go to the store and pick up some things for lunch?”

It was a rhetorical question. She was telling them both to go out and buy food. Ashwatthama took back what he thought about her being a saving grace. That woman was a true sadist. No wonder Black was related to her.  
-  
-  
-  
Siegfried looked at the two cantaloupes in his hands. Weighing them between his own hands. He put back the one in his left hand and put the other one in his basket. They were short on a number of things back at home, including milk and fruits. On his way to the back to pick up butter, he paused to consider getting a cake from the bakery. There was a small one that Karna liked that was usually sold out by now. But there might still be one if he hurried. 

Thankfully, there was still one left when he checked. He pointed to the cake in the display case and the worker pulled it out to put in a box. Siegfried paused after taking the box from the worker. They looked familiar. Very familiar.

“By any chance, would you happen to be related to someone named Sakura?”

“Ahaha, I’m afraid not. Just a resemblance.”

“Sorry, you probably hear that a lot around here.”

“Oh don’t worry about it. Enjoy your cake now.”

After he checked out, which took longer than usual as one of the items wouldn’t scan, he found himself stuck with an extra item he didn’t pay for. By that, he meant a body was forced into his arms with the cake nearly falling to the ground. Ashwatthama walked off with his own bags and a pleased look on his face. Arjuna was passed out on his shoulder now. Siegfried had a number of questions rolling in his head. 

More questions popped up in his head when Merlin pulled up with Artoria in front with him. He rolled down the window and waved at Siegfried. The former student could hear the doors unlock from where he stood.

“Get in, bitch.” 

Siegfried did not want to get into the car with Merlin. Especially not with all he had to carry. He shook his head as he began to walk away. The tall man found himself stopped by Lancelot and Gawain. Looking behind him, he found Tristan and Bedivere were blocking his back escape. He could have gotten out through the other exit in the store if Mordred and Agravain weren’t blocking that escape route. Merlin was smirking as Siegfried slowly made his way to the car. Artoria took a bite of the ramen Shirou had made for her. She wasn’t able to make it to dinner the other day, Merlin needed a ride somewhere. 

When Arjuna came to, he found himself leaning uncomfortably over some kind of podium. Rubbing his eyes as he looked around the darkened room he spotted what looked like Siegfried just a few feet away. His face wasn’t visible in the barely lit room, but he could tell who it was. Taking a step back resulted in him banging the back if his knee into a metal bar. What was this?

The lights suddenly came on and blinded him temporarily with how bright they were. When his sight cleared he found himself in a game show set. Siegfried was looking over at him with a highly confused expression as a microphone was being tested. They both jumped when a set of theme music started to play, and an announcer that sounded very similar was speaking. 

“This production is filmed before a live studio audience.”

“The once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is finally here! The greatest otome game right on your screen! It’s JINAKO’s Ultimate Real Life Otome Game! With your host, Jinako Carigiri!”

Besides the shock of seeing and hearing people cheer from a crowd to their left, the shock of seeing Jinako- the famous reclusive NEET girl, out in public with a happy smile on her face and it wasn’t from a handheld game. Siegfried and Arjuna exchanged a look. What was going on?

“And introducing my long-time collab partner, you all know his name, it’s Sigurd aka Crystallized Wisdom!”

An equally loud cheer came from the crowd when Sigurd entered the set in a crisp, clean suit. He waved at the crowd as he stood next to Jinako. Siegfried stared at him, wide-eyed. 

“And our guest host, you might know him or you might not, but it’s Krishna!”

Arjuna’s jaw dropped as the crowd cheered for his cousin as he entered the stage. He gave a wink to one of the cameras as he walked up to the other side of Jinako. Why was he here?

“As you all know, my dear friend Karna has been in quite the pickle lately. Being between two options to choose from, literally and figuratively.”

She pointed at Siegfried, “Our first contestant, the current boyfriend of Karna and the older brother to Sigurd, Siegfried! Viewers may recognize him from many of Sigurd’s videos,” she then pointed to Arjuna, “And our second contestant, the younger brother and childhood marriage promise of Karna, Arjuna! You may recognize him from some of my videos.” 

Jinako smiled as one camera zoomed in on her. The music changed as a new scene started. She explained the rules of the ‘game’. 

Contestants cannot interfere with one another directly  
They would have a time limit each round to get the point of the round  
Whoever won was determined by votes by the viewers  
Whoever had the most points at the end was the winner, and the other had to forfeit any plans they had previously

On a screen to their right, the rules were listed there as well. The screen changed to the word ‘sponsors’ in big, bold letters. Arjuna and Siegfried had a similar thought ‘who the hell was sponsoring this?’.

“And now a word from our sponsors!” 

Krishna tuned on his mic, “Our sponsor for today is from The Dragon, courtesy of its owner Vlad Tepes III and his niece Elisabeth! To those above 21, a complimentary drink will be offered. If you are under that age, you get another drink that isn’t alcohol. And Mr. Tepes has requested Jinako stop calling him a vampire for god’s sake.” 

“He is one and he knows it!”

“And now,” Sigurd cut in, “It’s time for the first challenge! With our challenge hosts, Merlin and Artoria!”

The teacher and former student entered the stage with applause. Merlin had a suit not unlike Sigurd and Krishna, while Artoria had a blue dress on. They stopped in front of the screen with a model sword in stone between them. 

“Artoria! Would you please show the contestants what the first challenge will be?”

She nodded and took grasp of the sword. Pulling it out effortlessly, she rested the flat part of the blade on her hand. Merlin peeked over to see what she was looking at. The screen changed to spell out a word.

“Your challenge for tomorrow is; Cook-off!”  
-  
-  
-  
“Ashwatthama, where is Arjuna?”

“At a game show or something, at least that’s what the guy who knocked him out said.”

Karna raised an eyebrow at him as he finished making a late lunch. Kunti was tapping at her phone with furrowed brows. She was beginning to glare down at her phone. 

“Karna, show me how to cast this on the TV.”

“You have to turn the TV on first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally can get the game show in here.


	3. Jinako's Ultimate Game Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I didn’t need to see ANY of that.”_
> 
> _“Why would you just stand there then?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA: The Whole Reason This Took So Long Is Because Of My Lack of Scheduling

Arjuna rubbed his eyes as he pushed himself up from the bed. The morning light illuminated the room as the birds chirped loudly outside his window. On autopilot, he changed out of his pajamas into his clothes for the day. He could smell breakfast cooking in the kitchen. As he reached out to open his door he found there was nothing to grab. He tried again, thinking he was just sleepy still. Upon fully realizing there was actually nothing to grab he blinked and it soaked in that Ashwatthama was standing in the doorway. His face was contorted in disgust. 

“I didn’t need to see ANY of that.”

“Why would you just stand there then?”

“Shock and horror.”

The red-haired man left the doorway making a gagging sound. Arjuna would have felt offended if it wasn’t Ashwatthama. He could cure cancer and that guy would complain about it. Seriously, who held a grudge for that long? 

Entering the kitchen, he found it was dark. The windows were covered by curtains to not allow the sunlight to seep through. Arjuna decided he was going to avoid whatever this was by leaving immediately. He found his exit blocked, once again, by Ashwatthama. The lights suddenly turned on. 

“Why hello there, cousin.”

Arjuna’s head shot towards the table. Sitting there was none other than the smug bastard himself. Duryodhana. 

“I hear you’ve appeared on a game show for my dear best friend’s affection.”

“How did you get that chair in here? It doesn’t even fit through the doorway.”

“Not important.”

Duryodhana pointed to the seat across from him. His exit was completely blocked, even if he tried to force his way through it was improper to attack guests. Though there was likely a loophole for guests overstaying their welcome. And for bastard cousins with murderous intent against him.

“I’m here to wish you luck.”

“...What?”

“Because you’re going to desperately need it.”

“Why would I need luck-”

Arjuna’s vision was obscured by a bag being pulled over his head and being thrown over someone’s shoulder. He should have seen this coming. At least he wasn’t knocked out like last time. That headache had stayed for the rest of the day.  
-  
-  
-  
“Welcome to the first challenge! Before we start, let's check in on our contestants.”

Jinako brought up the mic to Arjuna who smiled sweetly. He turned directly towards the camera with the sweetness intensifying ever second. Some of the audience was cheering just for that.

“Please stop kidnapping me.”

“Haha! No.”

Jinako turned to Siegfried, who had a confused look on his face. Was Arjuna really getting there by getting kidnapped? He just got a ride from Sigurd. And he knew Krishna had a car as he saw him park it earlier. 

“Fine.”

“Really winnin’ the votes there.”  
The host returned to her place on the stage as one part turned to reveal two parts of a kitchen. Arjuna was sure the equipment was lined with gold from how much it was shinning in the lights from the studio. The two of them were ushered towards the set as Krishna read out the sponsor of the day. 

“Our sponsor for the day is The Warrior Bakery! The owner, the lovely Ms. Boudica, has offered up free pastries for the audience. Except for Nero. You get to think about what you’ve done. And you KNOW what you’ve done.”

There was a loud gasp from the audience. Sigurd ignored her yelling as he started his part. Each of them had to cook something and whoever won would get to present it to Karna. It wouldn’t be easy, as there would be interferences. He didn’t specify what they were, but with the glint from his glasses, it gave the impression it wouldn’t be normal interferences.

“Ready? Start!”  
-  
-  
-  
“Who are your bets on?”

“Well mine is Arjuna, of course, that’s obvious. But with his decision of dessert, he’s got a clear chance to win this round.”

“Not so fast, I’m sure Siegfried will be able to change that prediction. This isn’t his first time making Karna food.”

“Hate to break it to you Sigurd, but Arjuna is simply naturally the winner. It’s his nature.”

“And yet my brother and Karna are married in the game.”

“Yeah, and how long had they been that way before they actually got together? One month, two months? Oh right! It was for FOUR YEARS!”

“DON’T REMIND ME! It was embarrassing! It spawned so many compilations.”

“I prefer the ones that involve Arjuna. Gotta admire my other half.”

“You guys, we’re commenting on a cook-off. Not whatever you guys are doing.”

“Well, what’s your opinion on the best complications?” 

“The best ones, where Karna is a dumbass and charges at an enemy before I’M DONE BUFFING HIM THE ABSOLUTE FOOL!”

Arjuna rolled his eyes at the back and forth between the hosts. He had just finished the cream and he had to add it with the chocolate for his dessert to be finished. What a fool Siegfried was to make something that required so much time, that meant it was more likely to have interference. Arjuna could easily see himself winning this round, this was something he had experience in. 

As he went to grab the melted chocolate, he found it was no longer on the stove. He looked around on the nearby countertop in case he had put it there and forgotten. But no, it wasn’t there either. It wasn’t with the cream either. Where could it be?

“Hm, this should be sweeter.”

Arjuna jerked his head behind him to see Ozymandias eating from the spatula of the melted dark chocolate. The man was about a quarter through what was in the container. The rage seeping from behind his flabbergasted expression was enough to melt another batch all on its own. He went up to the man and snatched the container from him, using the spatula to scrap what was left into the trashcan. It had been contaminated and therefore useless. Arjuna glared at Ozymandias as he made his way to Siegfried’s half of the room to steal something of his. Arjuna was willing to bet his left hand that Duryodhana had something to do with it.

He let out a sigh and pulled out more dark chocolate. He chopped it up coarsely with more force than necessary. Putting it into another container to melt, he took the cream to keep it in his line of sight. He would finish this mousse even if he had to kill those two. Siegfried was probably breezing through it, he did have an advantage that Arjuna didn’t want to admit. 

Siegfried did not have any advantage in any way. If anything, Arjuna had the advantage here. Ozymandias had come over to pull out the pudding from the fridge to eat it with Gilgamesh before they were finished. Siegfried had just finished the cream topping when he found the two had cleaned out the fridge of the pudding. He watched on in shock as the host stopped their conversation. 

“Hey wait a minute! Why the hell are they down there?! Where the hell is Merlin!”

“It was Duryodhana wasn’t it!”

“Yeah, so if either of you can explain who the hell he is that’d be great.”

“Quiet Sigurd! Real issues are happening here!”

“NO ONE WILL EXPLAIN HIM TO ME!”

Sigurd was ignored as the other two hosts made their way over to the kitchen set. Before they could reach the intruders, another person made it there first. Ozymandias was lifted up and thrown over the person’s shoulder. Gilgamesh was unable to move fast enough to avoid the blow to his head that made him drop like a rock and being dragged out of the studio. 

The studio was almost entirely silent. Arjuna and Siegfried watched as the man returned and stood between the two contestant’s areas. He leaned back against the wall and brought up one of the spare microphones to his mouth. 

“How dare you make me help Arjuna.”  
-  
-  
-  
“Why the hell is Ashwatthama helping them! He’s supposed to be on my side!”

Duryodhana glared at the screen from his spot on the couch. That traitor! Oh, he was going to have hell to pay for this. Sitting next to him, Yuddhisthira looked rather pleased. Not with what Ashwatthama did, but with Arjuna’s resilience. Yes, he was certain his little brother would win this challenge.

“So what is Arjuna competing for?”

“Are...Are you serious?”  
-  
-  
-  
Karna took a bite out of the dessert he was given. The cream and chocolate mixed together wonderfully. A smile formed on his face as he took another bite. He leaned over to rest his head on Siegfried’s shoulder. The pudding was delicious. Across the room, Arjuna ate some of the pudding he had been given. Not without plenty of glaring though. Damn that coin toss. 

Ashwatthama ate from his own cup of pudding as he read over the messages from ‘K’. Just what kind of game was this to them? Were they really trying to make it as even as possible with this? He put his phone away back into his pocket, he’d have to respond later. Kunti leaned back in the living room chair as her drama played on the screen.

As much as they didn’t want to admit, this one was actually enjoyable for them all to watch. Arjuna was impressed with how good the writing was. It was pretty unusual to see one so un-cheesy. The only downside to it was that someone thought it would be a good idea to have two characters with the same name dating the same guy. Following the story just got plain difficult when they showed up. Thank god they were minor characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so since we got an actual canon appearance for Ashwatthama now, please use that as your mental image now.


	4. Episode Hijacking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The chair spun towards the audience once the music stopped. The three hosts let out a shocked gasp at who was sitting in the chair. The man smirked as the lights turned back on to reveal him to the whole studio. It felt all the more bright with that smirk._
> 
> _“That’s right! I’m hijacking your gameshow!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got out of hand.

“Welcome back to the show!” Jinako’s voice rang through the studio.

Arjuna rubbed his eyes tiredly. It was almost three in the morning and Krishna had driven him all the way to the studio without warning. At least he got a nice breakfast out of this trouble. Siegfried looked ready to pass out on the podium, at least with how tired he looked. The other contestant wasn’t sure when he went to sleep in all honesty. Actually, when did he himself go to sleep. He rubbed his face and shook his head. Questions for later. 

“Now, since he came unannounced last time even though I already booked him for today’s announcement, here’s Ozymandias!”

The lights dimmed as a single studio light focused on a chair that was faced away from the cameras and the viewers. The music started up with its ‘special reveal’ theme as Arjuna and Siegfried exchanged a look. They had to deal with his antics again, only this time it was the entire portion of the episode today. That meant, to an increasing amount of dread, that Duryodhana and Gilgamesh would also be there. Siegfried could deal with them just fine, but Arjuna drew the line at his cousin. 

The chair spun towards the audience once the music stopped. The three hosts let out a shocked gasp at who was sitting in the chair. The man smirked as the lights turned back on to reveal him to the whole studio. It felt all the more bright with that smirk.

“That’s right! I’m hijacking your gameshow!”

Surya suddenly appeared far more threatening than he ever had before.  
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Had someone told Ozymandias that he’d be kidnapped by Arjuna’s father and held hostage with Duryodhana and Gilgamesh by two vultures, he would have laughed and still be kidnapped anyways. Duryodhana looked pissed. Beyond pissed. He had the look of a man who was about to commit a rage-fueled murder. The only thing stopping him beside the ropes binding his hands behind his back was one of the vultures. The bird was watching them with a hungry look in its eyes. It stretched its neck out every so often, as if it was determining if now was a good time to attack. Arjuna’s father had left them in the room, complaining to someone on the phone about his role in the plan. 

“What the hell hit me?”

“Probably a vulture, one of them swooped down out of nowhere and hit you.”

“Look on the bright side, this is a blessing in disguise.”

“We are kidnapped and two vultures are looking at us with hunger in their eyes as they wait for us to become unresponsive.”

Ozymandias rolled his eyes at Gilgamesh and Duryodhana’s annoyance. Only one of the vultures were looking at them like that. It didn’t matter much, he was certain they wouldn’t eat them. After all, vultures were such pure and good creatures they would certainly get them out of this. 

Duryodhana scooted away from the wingless vulture. It kept shifting around as it waited for something to let it eat them. Its companion seems disinterested in them, paying more attention to the other vulture’s movement. The room is part of some sort of storage, with a single wall light barely illuminating the vultures. 

Moving his hands around, Duryodhana was able to determine they would need something sharp to cut the ropes to get free. That knot wasn’t coming undone easily even with his strength. There was bound to be a box cutter of sorts around, it would be a bit wonky to get the first person’s ropes off but the others would be easy. He really wondered if this was part of that ‘K’s plan too. It was a pain to figure out what the plan was. It was as if two people were in charge of this whole thing and use a single contact to confuse everyone. 

As he tried to move to stand up, the wingless vulture snapped at him. It made an ugly sound that spooked the three of them. It looked as if it was chuckling at their shock, even it’s companion had looked over in surprise. They needed to get out of there quickly. Or that vulture might truly try its luck at eating them.  
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Siegfried and Arjuna were now stuck in Surya’s own game show. The three true hosts were unable to do anything against the man as he took over the program in a matter of minutes. Arjuna had a feeling his father had some hand in this. This was too much of a complete overhaul in too short a time for Surya to pull this off. Siegfried looked completely lost, he had yet to actually encounter Surya outside of a planned dinner. It was as if the man had two faces to use in situations, and that one he saw at those dinners was specifically made for that sort of thing. 

The game this time around was a jeopardy sort of game. The voting was useless this round. It was entirely based on how well they knew Karna. There was a sense of dread with this sort of game being hosted by his father. As if a wrong answer would mean being barred from any further action. There was a second person there to help with the presentation. Arjuna felt like he had seen that woman before somewhere. 

“Thank you all for your attention, we shall begin the game now. Arunidevi, will you tell the audience the categories?”

“The first category is Hobbies, the second is Jobs, the third is Social Circle, the fourth is Likes And Dislikes, and the final one is our special category- Wild Card. All are available from 100 to 500 points.”

The game music started as Surya pointed over to them. Arjuna pointed a hand towards himself to which Surya nodded at. It looked like he was starting.

“Uh, Jobs 500?”

The digital panel turned around the reveal the question to which Surya read aloud. 

“What was Karna’s very first job?”

Arjuna very quickly regretted his choice. For the life of him, he had no idea what Karna started working at first. He changed them so quickly in line when they needed an extra hand it made it hard to keep track. Not to mention that would have been years ago. He didn’t keep the jobs from the past in mind whenever new ones flowed in, it made things too confusing. 

“...Was it...helping at a horse ranch?”

There was a loud buzzer noise. 

“Arunidevi?”

The card flipped over again to reveal the words 'Assisting at a horse ranch’.

“I said that!”

“But you didn’t know it mini-Indra!”

There was a record scratch in Arjuna’s head. ‘Mini-Indra’. Only one person ever called him that. But, there was no way it was him. That was very clearly a woman. And yet...who else would say that?

“Is that Aruna?”

“Congratulations, you figured that out faster than your dad did back in the day without sticking anything into something else. 200 points.”

“...What is that supposed to mean Surya?!”

They were already moving onto Siegfried’s turn. Arjuna was left to question a few things about his father as Siegfried chose a category. It was Jobs for 200.

“Which boss did Karna like the least.”

“Semiramis.”

There was a positive-sounding ding that sounded. A correct answer it looked like. His scoreboard had 200 added to it, matching his score with Arjuna. It was the younger of the two’s turn again. 

“Social Circle 500.”

“Who was Karna’s first kiss-”

“Vrishali, 5th grade, recess.”

A number of people in the audience, as well as the hosts, looked over at Arjuna with a perplexed look. That was way too specific to be a guess. Not to mention a bit weird to remember that much about it. Siegfried was not surprised at all. If anything, this was his ideal category with all that stalking he did. 

Surya blinked and looked over to the answer on-screen. Vrishali’s name was indeed on the card. Arunidevi- Aruna, just shrugged and moved onto the next question for Siegfried. Likes and Dislikes for 500 were selected.

“What is Karna’s favorite animal?”

“Hermit crabs, he thinks Jinako can learn from them.”

“He keeps sending me pictures of them whenever I complain about getting up in the morning.”  
500 points were added to Siegfried’s score. Once again matching him with Arjuna. Each of them had 700 Points now, with four questions of the twenty-five available shaded out to signify they had been answered. Krishna pulled out a container and began to eat its contents as he watched. Sigurd gave a look of pure bewilderment as he watched the man eat plain butter. This day was just more confusing by the minute.  
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“Gil, we’re using your belt.”

“What.”

Ozymandias gesture his shoulder to the sharp-looking design on Gilgamesh’s belt. The golden-haired man did not think that was going to work in the slightest. There was a bigger chance of it breaking. It wasn’t meant for cutting. Duryodhana, on the other hand, nodded in agreement, saying something along the lines of it being worth a try.

And thus, Gilgamesh found himself in an odd situation with Ozymandias’s tied up hands using the design on his belt to cut open the rope. There was no possible way to make it less awkward until the rope was cut and they could use something else. Honestly, having Duryodhana spot them so no one would get implied by the object made it worse. The crackling vulture wasn’t any help either. 

Ozymandias felt the rope start to give away after many attempts, now being able to break it away by himself. The rope fell from his wrist as he let out a ‘Aha’ in victory. There was a small clang as something fell to the ground. The sharp object on Gilgamesh’s belt had broken off. Ozymandias picks up the object only for it to snap in half in his hand. A smaller clang hits the floor as the three of them looked at the broken piece clenched between in the dark-haired man’s fingers.

“Gil. Why did your belt break so easily?”

“It was a gift.”

“You accepted a cheap gift?”

“...Hukuno was tight on money okay?”

The wingless vulture began to make its crackle-like noises once again as the sound of feet running towards the door was heard. The locked door had its handle shaken a bit as the thing behind it realized it was locked. The sound of a key being inserted as the lock clicked and the door was swung open. A man walked in and looked surprised to find them in there.

“Sampati? Can you lend me a hand?”

An entire arm, a prosthetic, came flying through the doorway nearly missing the man’s head. It landed on the floor with a loud clang and a small bounce. The man looked down at the arm and brought a hand up to his face. He mumbled something that sounded like ‘why did dad raise us like this’.  
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The score between Siegfried and Arjuna was neck and neck. Arjuna was ahead by 100 points but it was very easy to turn that around for his opponent. Siegfried chose Wild Card for 300, the question showing up on the screen as Surya read it aloud.

“How many half-siblings does Karna have?”

“He has six.”

A harsh buzzer rang out signifying he was wrong. 

“Arjuna, do you want to try and steal this?”

“...Does he actually have more?”

Surya looked at them with a flat face. The card on the screen flipped to show a double-digit number. 12. 

“How many kids do you have!”

“10 including Karna, why?”

“And I thought my father had a lot with all his girlfriends.”

“Oh, poor mini-Indra is so out of the loop.”

“Wait, how many does he have?”

“He only seems to remember 5 so who really knows.”

Arjuna just nodded numbly. At this point, he was finding out more things about his father than he ever thought he could. He rubbed his eyes and mumbled out ‘Wild Card for 500’. A new sound came through the studio speakers as the card changed into one with a sparkling font. 

“Looks like you’ve chosen the Double Pointer, if you answer this correctly you get 1000 points!”

The card flipped over to reveal the question. ‘Who made these questions?’. Aruna chimed in that Siegfried could steal his points if he couldn’t guess it in 3 tries.

“Duryodhana.”

“He was not able to be reached.”

“Karna.”

“That’s too obvious.”

“...Mother?”

“No that’s the next one. Siegfried, how about you give it a shot.”

“Uh, Jinako?”

“She didn’t even know this was happening.”

“You.”

“I would have made the questions harder, this is my son we’re talking about.”

“Indra?”

“Even he would have made it harder just for shits and giggles.”

The card turned around to reveal the name. Siegfried and Arjuna both needed a moment to process the name on the screen. Even Surya seemed a little surprised by the double-take he did. Aruna did not seem shocked at all. A flat face and all. In bold letters, the name ‘Ashwatthama’ was spelled out.  
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Arjuna let out a muffled sigh as he wrapped his arms around Karna’s waist. He purposely took up two spaces on the couch so that Siegfried was forced to sit on one of the chairs. Ashwatthama was on the floor with a blanket wrapped around him, making him look like a roll of sushi. On the other chair, Kunti typed out something to someone and glared at her phone when it stuttered while sending. 

“Why is Ashwatthama on the floor,” Arjuna’s words were muffled by Karna’s shirt. 

“He was called up by Aruna at 3 am to make something and he met with Ms. Parvati on the way here and he can’t get mad outwardly after talking with her, so he’s getting mad inwardly.”

“I will fucking burn my liver up before I blow up in anger in her presence.”

“You also called her mom twice in that conversation.”

“Karna, I will end your life once I can get mad again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ozy, Gil, and Duryo are still kidnapped.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, finally got around to rewrite everything.


End file.
